first

First real job.
First real classroom of my own.
First report cards written.
First parent interviews.
First meetings.
First issues to solve (new ones everyday).
First formal evalulation.
First paycheck (in a while anyways).
First vehicle of my own (finally!!)
The past two and a half months have been crazy. It has been up and down and sideways, up one wall across the ceiling and down the other and back again. There are days that are long and hard and there are days that are fun and things go well. There is a balance to be found between work and life - and apparently they are not the same thing. I continue to be challenged at work but it is getting easier. There is just so much to learn still and so much to do everyday. It is an overwhelming job most days. I continue to try to live in the moment with a drive towards seeing the 'big picture' (and if someone would tell me a little more specifically what the heck that means life would be good).
Life is good and I guess I can't complain. I have a lot going for me and things could be far worse. I am truly thankful to be where I am, fumbling through the present and seeking out the future. One step and one 'first' at a time.

new every morning

Ah, the challenges of a new lifestyle, a new job, a new routine. An adjustment. The learning never stops. I stand in front of 23 young young people everyday and try to accomplish something... with them? within them? I suppose the goal would be to make each and every day meaningful in some way, to have minimal time wasted and to be eager to build relationships. There is so much more to teaching than curriculum, but as a new teacher it is hard to see the big picture, to see beyond today, tomorrow, this week. I'm learning to live in the moment. To try to do the best I can with the time and the energy that I have, and to hope that in 'the big picture' it is all worth it.
I will continue to search for the perspective that I need, the vision for this year, for my life, and for my students. No matter what happens each day, whatever it brings, each day is different. Tomorrow there will be a new morning, with new challenges and new triumphs. I will not dwell on what was but on each day as new. New every morning... Great is Thy faithfulness...

borrowed faith

The summer has gone by... so slow and yet so fast all at the same time. My "career" begins in a few days. A surreal feeling. It is good. The stress will begin soon enough.

I think I've grown this summer, and have learnt new things about myself, both who I am, and who it is that I want to be. Though I haven't done anything profoundly interesting or life-changing I am progressing through this transition time in my life and I am learning to accept all the good things that have come my way (feels strange to think that I have to learn to accept good... but that's how I see it). I couldn't ask for it to be different or better, all the doors were swung open for me to jump right though, it's an exciting new journey that I am thrilled (most days) to be on.

I was tremendously encouraged by all of my favorite camp people... Lisa E.... haha... had to mention you cause you said I should. What an awesome privilege to know and work with these people. I am continually inspired. I feel as if I'm borrowing their faith for the time being... as mine seems hard to find... and though you don't know it... I'm riding on all of ya'all's unwaivering faith, for that I thank you. So... while I keep looking for my own... I will be walking with borrowed faith. Till next time. Peace.

Spinnin my tires....

Well... another day and another post. What's new? WELL... not a whole lot. I just got back from a fairly non-adventurous little trip with 2 friends of mine to my aunt's fishing lodge. While we didn't do any fishing I did manage to get them both into a canoe, which was probably the highlight of the trip for me. It was a relaxing time, nothing extraordinary happened, but what else is new. Now I find myself back where I began... a little stuck... still not knowing where I'm going. Moving... but is it forward? I have to wonder sometimes. My purpose will change soon as I head to work and what will probably be a very busy year. It'll be good.

Where my mind is...

Well, again, writing, or 'blogging' if you will. I'm at home, though I would prefer to be elsewhere. This picture is from the valley... a common yet amazing morning sight that you can take for granted when you live there... but when away from there you miss it. Pretty incredible world we live in, almost as if you are 'on top of the world' with the clouds below and the blue sky above. It dosn't get much better. I know I'm a little 'over nostalgic' when it comes to camp, but its hard not to think about this summer although I'm enjoying some time off I still miss the craziness of that place and being in the middle of it all. It's all good... here's to the next step...

Just a picture to you...

This is a fun pic with many memories attached. This picture was taken in the Dominican Republic in January of 2000 when I was on outreach following my Phase II school at YWAM Denver. Dana, Katie, Peter, Josh, and Lydia are pictured here with me. We spent a week building a church (which involved a lot of digging, mixing cement, and laying bricks/cinder blocks. I learned a lot that week. It was hard but it was awesome at the same time. Our 'shower' facilities was a creek down in the woods... pretty cool... literally and figuratively. I also learned that week that it is possible to 'walk up hill both ways' as we hiked OVER a 'mountain' (it looked like a mountain... maybe it was a big hill) and then to get back we had to hike back OVER the mountain. There was definitly uphill both ways (there was also downhill though). An amazing week. One of about 7 that we spent in DR/Haiti/Mexico... I'll save some stories for another time. Peace.

midnight on a winding road

Here I am again. Just returned from a week... well two weeks I guess of camp life. The valley is very much a part of who I am, going there is like going home. There is a cool atmosphere that exists in no other place that I have found. I love that place, it is fun to be there. A goal I had going in was to gain 'perspective' I'm not sure that I have, another goal was to leave fuller than I came (fuller not food wise but fuller as a person... it's a long story) and that I think has happened at least to some degree. There was no amazing moment, or incredible revelation about who I am and where I am going, but baby steps. I still find myself lost in this transition time, lost in knowing what it is that I want, what it is that I believe, how it is that I want to live. In that way I'd say that my life right now seems like it has been midnight on a winding road... not knowing where I am or where to go (not my words... but I like em anyways). I'm ready for the sun to rise to light my path, or for the road to straighten in order to get to wherever it is that I may be going. For the moment I remain on this winding path, and yet I trust, one day, it will all become clear. I will contemplate. I will try to figure it out. And I will wait.

again for the very first time

Hi everyone. It's a little hard to believe that I am sitting here and actually starting a blog... but lets face it... I have some time on my hands. I suppose this blog may turn out to be a little eclectic in nature as I post whatever whenever, and the whenever may get less frequent as I start work in September and my life becomes consumed with trying to manage my new classroom full of grade 5's and 6's. Yep, I'm finally a teacher, and five years of school has made me appreciate the fact that I am finally finished with university... at least for my forseeable future... and so I am in transition from one lifestyle to another. From the life of a student to starting a full time professional career (that sounds really serious!) It's not really, I'm excited and ready for the change even if this time of 'transition' is a struggle, to find my place, and decide what it is that I want from this time. I'm headed to camp for two weeks... I am glad to have the break from being at home... and I hope to gain some perspective and have some fun while I'm there. The Pembina Valley Bible Camp has been my home for the last 4 summers... and for much more time before that... and so... this spring and summer... I miss it. That perhaps makes this "in-between" time a little harder. There is a time for change and for moving on... and I guess I have come to that place... I stand...a little reluctantly perhaps....at a crossroads...dragging my feet a little in the process... Here I Am...again for the very first time Peace.