nothing better to do...

SO, I'm bored, which is not that unusual, I also just had a large T.H. coffee and considering that I don't really drink coffee all that often that means I will be fairly alert for some time to come... so here goes a survey... just cause I have nothing better to do for the moment...

Who was the last person you...
1. You hung out with? Talking with Pam tonight... that sort of counts
2. Rode in a car with?Lots by myself recently, but most likely Dave... I'm a bit of a taxi service somedays.
3. Went to the movies with?No Idea, its been a while
4. You went to the mall with? ummm, don't know.... don't spend much time at the mall.
6. You talked on the phone/IMed to? Umm, a principal of a school... asking me to work.
7. Made you laugh? My own stupidity.

W O U L D . Y O U . R A T H E R?
1. Pierce your nose or tongue?nose
2. Be serious or be funny?Vewwy vewwy sewious
3. Drink whole or skim milk?:skim- but I don't really care.
4. Die in a fire or drown?ummm, lets say neither
5. Spend time with your parents or enemies?:Parents, though I think I do enough of that.

A N S W E R. T R U T H F U L L Y.1.
Do you like anyone? well, people in general I suppose.

Y O U . P R E F E R.
1. Sun or moon?:Sun. I like sunshine! But the moon can be fun too
2. Winter or Fall?Fall... mostly cause I hate winter
.3. left or right?Right?
4. 10 acquaintances or two best friends?Two best friends.
5. Sunny or rain? Sun, but rain is nice once in a while
6. Vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream?ummm probably vanilla if I had to choose

.A B O U T . Y O U.
1. What time is it?11:25 (how is that about me?
2. First Name?:Heather
3. What do you want to do? Teach, go on a warm vacation, spend time with fun people
4. Where do you wanna live?:negotiable
5. How many kids do you want?also negotiable
6. Do you want to get married?Yes. Someday
7. what do you like on your pizza? No pineapple
8. Can you cross your eyes?Not skillfully
9. Do you make your bed daily?Nope
.
R A N D O M.
1. Which shoe goes on first? I'm thinking the right one... never really thought about it though
!2. Ever thrown a shoe at someone?'I'm thinking yes
3. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?Twirl
.4. Have you ever eaten Spam? Yes.
3. Favorite ice cream? Peppermint... but you can only find it at Christmas
4. How many kinds of cereal are in your cabinet?Not sure.
5. Current mood? Ummm, a little discouraged.----

IN . THE. LAST. 48 HOURS. HAVE. YOU.
1. kissed some one? Nope
2. Sang?Yes
3. Been hugged:No
4. Felt stupid:Yes.
5. Missed Someone:Yes
6. Danced Crazy?No
7. Gotten your hair cut?No
8. Cried:Yes

S T U F F .
1. do you have a Dog? There is a decreped dog that lives here but she's not really mine.
2. When's the last time you've been sledding?Probably last winter
3. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone? I pretty much like my bed... but maybe someday
.4. Do you believe in ghosts?Umm no.
5. Do you consider yourself creative? Maybe in some way... not sure I've found it yet


All you ever wanted to know and more... have a great weekend everybody.

today

So, once again I'm back, it actually hasn't been all that long, maybe I'll get more regular with this blogging thing (no promises though). What have I been up to? More substitute teaching... fun fun... the other day I was in a grade 1 class, it was actually pretty good as in grade 1 if you are the teacher you are pretty darn special. Kids are so funny, we were learning about the number 5, and let me tell ya, that was a challenge as many had not quite mastered 1-4... I'm thinking I might go crazy if I taught grade 1 but it was fun for a couple of hours.

Lets see... what else... I went to a wedding in Minnesota, that was pretty fun, lots of craziness and I was very tired after this short 'vacation' but it was worth it, I don't go many places these days so it was good to be 'away' for a few days.

Most profound learning as of late: the past dosn't matter, how I got to where I am dosn't matter, everything behind dosn't matter what matters is where I am at today and where I go from here. What matters is today. Start today. No judgement. Just today.

So here I am. Where I am. Today.

ok

OK, so this blog thing tends to turn into a rant about life in general and nothing too specific. I think this is just how my mind works... my brain moves quickly and I can't seem to say what I want to say in a way that makes sense and how others can percieve it correctly... especially when speaking... at least when I write it out it has half a chance because I can try... and sometimes fail... to say what I want to say.

So. Update. I am officially a not very busy substitute teacher. This is not a lifelong career choice for me that's for sure. Granted it is easy, and relatively stress free... and I like the 'no homework' part of it. But I really miss having my own class, and having a group of students to care about every day. There are some terrible classes (especially in high school... no offence to any high school agers out there... I like you as people... I'm just not so much into teaching high school classes... though it may be different if I were there full time) ANYWAY. At least I know that I don't want to be a high school teacher. Its good to learn such things. Work is work. And I'm waiting for some mat leaves to start so I can apply for some more jobs... time will tell where this year will lead.

So. I went to church last week. Actually it has been two consecutive weeks in a row (It has been probably a couple years since that has happened). Its been good. Its a bit of a drive as I chose to go out of the local communities, but its good. I feel ok there. And I can sneak in and out fairly quietly if I want to. I've had a love/hate relationship with the concept and all the extras and socialness (not a word... so what) of church. I've decided that it is not church that I want. It is God that I want. Simple. I don't necessarily want all the drama and relationships and pressure to fit some mold that dosn't really exist but people expect. I want simple. It has been that way all along. But I'm trying to define what that means to me, and how that looks and what it really involves. Perhaps I'm way off base in all my thinking (call me on it if you want). Its been a strange winding and bumpy road. I feel like it has been an uphill battle for some time, its my own fault... human as I am.... doubting as I am... I'm ok with it, its my journey, and I suppose really the only person that needs to understand it is me. I'm not yet where I should be, but perhaps I might get back on track, I've been a little lost in the woods... I need some Christmas lights on the trail. Healing takes time, but I'm choosing to be proactive in it, and try to make some positive changes that hopefully will lead to good things. I'm a different person than I once was, and I think that's ok too, though some days I struggle with the change and wonder what happened. Sometimes scars are permanent. I'm hoping to come out stronger on the other side. I definitly feel like the only person in the world who struggles with this, though in my head I know I'm not (but how come no one ever talks about the hard stuff of faith???? Why is it always sunshine and rainbows and just look to God and everything will be great???.......AHHHHHHHHHH.) Life happens. God is always good. But life still happens.

Here I am. Spilling all this nonsense online (at least its an optional read right??). Here I am. Ok.