one day at a time

Well... I suppose much has happened since the last time I posted here. I have a job now. Which is bittersweet in many ways. I am teaching a 3/4 class. It has been an interesting experience so far to say the least. Besides the 45 minute commute which is SUPERFUN I also have a very challenging group of 8 and 9 year olds to contend with. I have never met a group dynamic like this one. Much of my day is tied up in discipline issues. They are draining on the mind and spirit. There are days that I walk out feeling defeated and wondering what the next day will bring. Each day is different. The students are unpredictable. And in many cases violent. As I said. An INTERESTING group of 8 and 9 year olds. We are trying everything in the book. And we will keep trying. These problems have exsisted since they started in school though, so I'm not sure how much change can really be expected. The problems are so much bigger than me. So much bigger than my experience. So much bigger than my expertise. And many of the issues stem from the homes.... which is beyond anything that I can even begin to tackle. This job will be a learning experience to be sure, and hopefully something positive will come of it. I hoped and prayed for a job for so long, and now I have a real challenge before me, we'll see where this leads I guess. Taking things one day at a time. And hoping for the best.

There is not much in my life besides work right now. I often think of the future and what will happen next. I still feel like I need to go somewhere and do something. But go where? To do what?? I hope that the path will somehow become clear. I often feel that I need more in my life... but I'm not sure what. I've got to be one of the most indecisive people on earth.

I know I need to get out of this house. I am starting to feel crazy here, and it is not where I want to be. My parents are great but I can't live here much longer. Especially when they are home all the time. Time to get some of that independence back. How this next job hunt goes will probably determine a lot. I REALLY HOPE for good things.

The job hunt for next fall will begin soon. I hope it goes more smoothly than the last almost 12 month job hunt.

I still get to church when I can, which has been every other week or so (mostly because of weather issues). I am still challenged by my faith and what it really means to me. And where I fit in this plan. Big questions I guess. I guess what is important is that I know the God I serve. I know He wants to bless me, I know that there are many promises written for me. And I know that it is not about rules and religion, what I do, or what I've done. What matters is today, and where I go from here. The journey continues.