this life.

To blog or not to blog. This is the question.

On Haiti. Everyone is blogging about Haiti. Everyone is giving to Haiti. Everyone is thinking about this often forgotten about country. I had the opportunity to visit Haiti a number of years ago. We were there for just two weeks. It was long enough to know that Haiti was and is a country in distress. It was in distress before an earthquake. It was the poorest, dirtiest, most culture-shocking place that I have visited. It was oppressive. It was eye-opening. It changed my perspective on the world. It changed how I felt about this life. There was a lot going on when I was there. It was the last place I wanted to be. A friend back home had died in a car accident just before we entered the country. I wanted to be at home. Haiti was not a place for grief. Haiti changed my life. I can't imagine this country in the chaos that it is in. My prayer is that all the help and money that is being raised around the world, will be channeled with wisdom, and that Haiti will truly receive the help that it needs... and perhaps has always needed.

Events like this make me think about my own life. It is pretty insignificant in light of natural disasters. I live a very safe life. In a bubble that I yearn to break out of but struggle with how I can, what the best way for me to do that is. I believe I am where I am supposed to be. Yet I struggle with where I am. It is a complete and total contradiction of belief and feeling.

I am very very lucky.
I am very very blessed.
Sometimes I need a serious wake up call to realize these two facts.
And stop worrying about the stuff that I 'don't have' that I want in this life.

Faith for today.
Hope for tomorrow.

H.